My sister Cole is an aspiring journalist and an undergraduate at Michigan State University. She’s currently the reporter of the arts at the State News, the MSU college newspaper. In addition to this title, she also hosts a blog on the internet where she writes about flannel and banjos.
My name is Nicholas and I’m here to inform you that my sister is probably wrong. This is a big allegation seeing as she’s a published journalist. Her work with the State News seems sound proof and the artlice How to Make Paper Snowflakes is completely true and on my fridge. My main concern is that her opinion based blog is wrong. How can Cole’s opinions be wrong? They just are. I’m her older brother so I would know. After knowing Cole for 20 years I think I know more about her than you do. My mother and father are the only other people who have known her that long and I’m pretty sure they’d agree that she’s probably wrong. To prove my relation to Cole and give you some reasons not to trust her here’s a list of facts.
FACT! Cole hates mint. Who hates mint? What does Cole’s breath smell like? Probably garbage.
FACT! Cole can’t swim.
FACT! When me and Cole were roommates at my parents house where we grew up, SHE WET THE BED! That was only about fifteen years ago. I was there.
FACT! Cole sometimes matches her scarf to her shirt. That's redundant and annoying.
FACT! Cole doesn’t eat meat for made-up/hippie reasons.
FACT! Cole is a werewolf and a communist.
Still trust her? I don’t. I may only be four years older than Cole, but I’m also four years smarter. Think about it.
The purpose of this blog is to inform the general public of why my sister is wrong. I will probably have to contradict myself, express views I don’t actually believe, and make up lies about Cole while writing this blog, but it’s worth it. I’ll go to any extent to belittle my sister and I hope that this does the trick.
Remember, when Cole tells you not to read this blog, she’s my sister and therefore probably wrong.
